Category Archives: Centerfolds

Elizabeth Ostrander

Snow Job! Freckly Boobs and Furry Boots With Playmate @Miss_ElizabethO

Blizzard conditions in some parts of the country! Playboy’s Miss December, Elizabeth Ostrander, who basically lives naked on a boat in ever-pleasant weather. So you might think she has nothing to contribute to your dread/enjoyment of this chilly stormapalooza. Well, you’d be wrong! Apparently the sexy Miss O isn’t afraid to brave arctic conditions wearing nothing but furry boots and freckles. Ooooooh those freckles. Ooooooh. God bless you Playboy magazine for picking a girl with freckles. Get more of Elizabeth, furry boots, freckles and of course boobies at PlayboyPlus.
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Lindsey Pelas

You MUST Vote for @LindseyPelas to Be Cyber Girl of the Year #CGOY

Lindsey Pelas for CGOY at PlayboyPlusI don’t care. I don’t wanna hear it. Don’t even bother trying to convince me that any other girl should win. Lindsey Pelas is the favorite and the rightful winner and that is simply that.

Is it because she has the biggest boobs? Well, that is a factor. I can take that criticism, if it is criticism—”You just want her to win because she has the biggest boobs.” Look, somebody has to have the biggest boobs, that’s just a fact of life. And if I’m picking the CGOY I am not going to pick a girl who has A-cups. I’m just not. So yes, it is not surprising that I would endorse Lindsey Pelas.

Go to the Cybergirl of the Year voting page and vote your conscience. If you’re conscience doesn’t tell you to vote Lindsey, well, I think you’re a little nutty, but whatever.

Lindsey is clearly the best. And if she wins, there will be many, many, many more pictures and videos of her (and yes, those spectacular breasts) at PlayboyPlus.

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Elizabeth Ostrander

Playmate @Miss_ElizabethO Has Things on her Boobs Most Playmates Don’t

Freckles! This seafaring babe is shipshape with graceful lines, a prominent bow and a tight stern, etc etc, but in addition to all the usual reasons you might lust a stunning Playboy Playmate, there’s the freckle factor. Seriously, can you remember the last time you saw a Playmate who is this freckly? Maybe Scarlett Keegan 10 years ago. And maybe if you go way, way back before those Playboy guys fell in love with their airbrushes you might find some girls with lots of freckles. But I’ll wager that Elizabeth Ostrander is the freckliest Playmate ever. Isn’t that great? Freckles are awesome. So are Elizabeth’s boobs.

See more of Elizabeth’s boobs, freckles, and general gorgeousness at Playboy.com.

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Karin Taylor, Jami Ferrell, Rachel Jean Marteen Playboy Safari

This Is the Greatest Playboy Photo Shoot Ever. #Fact

In 1999, Playboy put three popular Playmates on a plane and flew them to Africa with photographer Richard Fegley, and what happened next is, in my humble opinion, the greatest photo shoot Playboy has ever done. The cast of characters set it up for greatness—you’ve got Karin Taylor and Jami Ferrell, who are two of the best Playmates of the ’90s. Really, they’re both for sure in the top 10. And then you’ve got Rachel Jean Marteen, who is undoubtedly a very beautiful girl, maybe not in my personal top 10 but certainly a knockout by any standards. Fegley is one of the great Playboy shooters, his images at the start of his career helped define the Playboy look of the ’70s. This would be one of his last shoots for Playboy, as he died in 2001. And then you’ve got Africa itself—specifically, Zambia, Zimbabwe and Botswana—good lord, if this doesn’t make you want to be a rich bastard roaming the savanna with your own naked and racially-diverse harem, I feel bad for you son.

In the magazine, it was 10 pages, and some of the images were quite small. And even then, a lot of great stuff was left out. But nothing is left out at Playboy’s official site. They’ve got 80+ shots from this naked adventure! That is just fucking awesome!

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Dani Mathers for Profane

Playboy Playmate @DaniMathers sells @PROFANECLOTHING Shirt With her Boobs

Profane Clothing sure did pick a good name for their company. They make hoodies, t-shirts, hats, wife-beater shirts, etc., that you can’t wear to school. Sometimes the clothes say a big ole “FUCK” on ’em, other times it’s a hot model or porn star flipping you the bird, or just getting naked. That’s right, nudity, nipples and everything! Yeah, you have to be careful where you wear Profane Clothing.

Or maybe you don’t. Maybe you should only buy it if you don’t give a fuck. And the way to show you don’t give a fuck is to wear a shirt that says FUCK. Point proven.

Here’s something reeeeeally cool: Profane put out a new shirt the other day, and to get you, the consumer, interested in it, they did some pictures only a company like Profane can do: Playboy Playmate Dani Mathers That’s right, nudity, nipples, and all. Dani is modeling the Jesse Jane signature t-shirt minidress, which is all torn to pieces and a great garment for the girl who really wants you to look at her boobs. Which Dani does, it seems. So look at ’em, and check out all the sexy offerings at Profane Clothing. Photos by Haus of Se7en.

Eugenia Diordiychuk and Sarah Summers

Let Nude Playboy Models @e_diordiychuk and @SarahSummersPB Warm You Up

It sure ain’t summer today — no sirree, it’s colder than a well-digger’s asshole where I am and in many parts of the world. Summer’s fun, though, isn’t it? Particularly a summer pool party on a warm day packed with nubile Playboy models — let the bikini babes burn a few burgers on the grill and take a dip in the pool. And then whoops, the one named Sarah has a bikini malfunction, and the one named Eugeniya starts pulling it the rest of the way off, and pretty soon the bikinis are strewn about the grass and Sarah and Eugeniya are intently squeezing each other’s Charmin, oblivious to the party going on around them. Which is ok, because the party is oblivious to them. And by now the burgers really are burning.

Sarah Summers, the blonde, is a pretty standard awesome blonde Playboy model, and Eugeniya Diordiychuk, the brunette, is a Ukrainian Playmate who is better known online as Jenya D and Katie Fay. See more of both Sarah and Eugeniya at Playboy.com.

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Alyssa Arce from Yume Magazine

Damn, Alyssa Arce Is WORKING it After Playboy

A girl becomes a Playboy Playmate — hey, she’s reached the mountaintop. The nudie mountaintop, which I imagine is like a big breast thrusting out of the ground, and she’s standing there on the tippy-top of the nipple, for her allotted month screaming at the top of her ample lungs, “I am the sexiest! Hear me world, I am Miss July and I am the sexiest woman on the planet at this very moment, and for these 31 days!”

And then what? She goes to a lot of parties at an old boy’s “Mansion”, plays croquet with Matthew Perry and volleyball with James Caan and more or less fades into the background? That is basically what happens. But not so with Alyssa Arce, who was a hell of a Playmate with her L.A. Speedway photo shoot and such. Alyssa stripped for Playboy. Alyssa stripped for Terry Richardson. Alyssa stripped for S Magazine.

Here’s Alyssa again getting sexy and basically nude. Not stripping but what she’s wearing is see-through so it’s all good. This is for Yume magazine; you may want to visit the large repository of arty nude shoots at yumemag.net.

Don’t you stop doing you, Alyssa Arce. Don’t you ever stop.

Lindsey Pelas

Playboy did a good thing with @LiNDSEY_P_ because BOOBS

I don’t think a girl should be penalized for having huge, shapely, miraculous boobies. I just don’t. This may not be a popular thing to say, but it’s my credo: Girls with big tits deserve love too.

(My other credo is — if you have to have a credo — you know, go for it. You only go around this crazy merry-go-round once.)

So I imagine Playboy took a look at the goddess-like Lindsey Pelas and they thought, hmm… she’s very pretty but her triple-D boobs are also huge and amazing. Is this what our readers want? Is it possible there is too much amazingness here and we should go with someone less amazing?

There’s much more of Lindsey and her abundant amazingness at Playboy.com. C’mon, she’s waiting for you. Don’t hate her because she’s boobiful.

Dani Mathers

Guns a-Blazing, It’s Playboy Playmate @DaniMathers

What do you need to know about Playboy Playmate Dani Mathers? I mean, it’s not like I personally know her. I know she has a winning smile and a slammin’ body, and I know a little of her personality from following her on Twitter (@DaniMathers). You know, some Playboy models, they pose nude but keep it PG-13 on the twitter — not Dani Mathers. In fact just last week she was so happy about the weather she tweeted a topless picture from this session with the caption:

“Sun’s out guns out! #summerstartsnow”

That’s right — bare boobies = guns. I like the cut of your jib, Dani Mathers. See more of her jibbie-jibs at Playboy.com.

Carlotta Champagne

Wish @thecarlotta a Happy Birthday and Gaze Upon her… Hips?

It is totally valid and understandable to proclaim that Carlotta Champagne has the world’s most perfect breasts. There is a case for it. I myself have had that thought more than once. They are really, really spectacular. But then, so is the whole package. And that brings me to something you might not be processing if you’re so laser-focused on the tits (as I can often be).

Carlotta Champagne has that perfect S-curve. That line of silhouette, starting at the ribcage, tapering to the waist and then flaring out to form incredibly attractive hips. No, really, you need to look at this girl’s hips, or her waist-to-hips region. It is just delightful. You know when they superimpose those little curlicues on a girl’s back (the first to do it was Man Ray, “Le Violon D’Ingres,” and she wasn’t all that) and compare her to the shape of a violin or cello? That’s what I see in Carlotta’s waist and hips. A rhythm to that curve that is musical, in its way. And it’s a miracle.

See, there are a lot of girls out there with great breasts, there are plenty on this site. But to have great breasts and this waist-to-hips curve… well, we’re really talking about an ideal figure. Say you were god, and you’d just taken a rib out of poor lonely Adam, and you were thinking, “Hmm, how should this ‘woman’ thing be shaped?” Well, god, this ‘woman’ thing should be shaped like this:

Carlotta Champagne

I dunno, even models as hot as Carlotta can be insecure about things and I know that by singling out such a feature I risk highlighting something she thinks is a flaw. Well, it most certainly is no flaw.

Today is Carlotta’s birthday; wish her a good one on twitter (@thecarlotta) and consider giving her the gift of your membership at her website, Carlotta-Champagne.com. It’s a gift to you both, really. (She also has a wish list.) Happy birthday, Carlotta.

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