I’m going all in on Lynsie Lee and I don’t care who knows it. This extremely sexy, extremely witty stripper, who works at Casa Diablo (Portland’s finest and only vegan gentleman’s club), is the big winner in the Cory Booker twitter scandal, which I will not even bother to describe again (here’s the earlier post), because it isn’t really a scandal and will have no big loser. It is nothing, I say, it is absolutely nothing.
Except — it has brought Lynsie Lee out of obscurity and into thousands more twitter timelines than before. That = good, because Lynsie = sexy.
Cory Booker will resuscitate an old lady or put out a fire or fight a bear next week and his charmed life will go on. And he will become the junior Senator from New Jersey. And this whole Chinese fire drill by the respectable media will have had no effect.
Except — it will have put Lynsie Lee’s boobies in front of a lot more eyeballs. Look at these goddamn boobies! She puts them on Twitter (@LynsieLee) frequently. And if you visit her at Casa Diablo she may put them on your face and wiggle around. Can you do that in Portland? I don’t know what the laws are regarding patron-stripper contact there, but if you have a chance to get these boobies wiggling on or near your face you need to snatch it up.
Speaking of Lynsie’s job, I’m going to go ahead and say she’s awesome at it. You should visit PDXStrippies.com and put her name in every blank. Yes, even “Best Male Stripper.” Do this whether you’ve been to Portland or not. Why?
Because Cory Booker is a fucking winner, that’s why. If he’s going to flirt with a stripper in Portland — he’s going to flirt with the BEST stripper in Portland.
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