You ever look at a Red Sonja comic book? She wears that scale-mail bikini. It’s a nice look, certainly sexy, but… really? What good would it do? It covers her nipples and her cookie but does it really protect her vital organs? And in the heat of battle, say she slashes this way and that, ducks under a swinging battle axe, jumps on a horse then vaults over the castle wall with a half-twist… you think that scale-mail bikini top is still clinging to her cartoony 34F breasts? Fuck no, that thing snapped off three moves ago. Our point is, a scale-mail bikini is necessary to keep your comic book’s PG-13 rating, but it is just about the most unlikely garment ever drawn. If you’re girding your loins (or whatever) for barbaric battle and you’re thinking of wearing any sort of bikini, save yourself the hassle.
Chain-mail headpiece? Great idea. Plate armor for your shoulders and elbows? Go for it. A heavy robe? Sure, might stop a dull blade. Scale-mail bikini? Tell your stripper sister she can keep it (it smells of sour mead anyway). Commando’s the way to go. That’s the choice Nevaeh is making here and historians agree it is 100% accurate. Thank you Bare Maidens for bringing us this faithful medieval cosplay, as always.
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