You, know, I’ve always liked that Chelsea Handler. I mean, it’s been a mixture of like and fear. She’s got a brain and a half on her, which is sexy. You can tell just by her brand of humor—not ditzy, not dumb, not wacky. Shrewd and cutting—it takes smarts to be so sharp, and of course it takes some serious lady-balls to command every conversation as she does. You do not want to go toe-to-toe trading barbs with Chelsea Handler. I do not. That’s what I mean by a little scary. Few men would have the conversational chops to keep up with her, and I sure as hell know I wouldn’t. You’d like to laugh with her, but one false move and she’ll be laughing at you. Hard.
But then this entertainment maven, this celebrity disher, this taker of the piss does something so endearing that makes me think, goddamn it, she must really have a heart of gold under that sarcastic shell. She gets all in a huff about boobs, and arrives at the conclusion that “Fuck it, Imma show mah boobs on Twitter (@ChelseaHandler) whether Instagram likes it or not.” Here we have the second picture within a week of Chelsea letting the girls breathe and telling the world, “they’re just tits people, it’s coo.”
This could be a really important moment. We’ve had celebrities who have indulged their exhibitionist streak, but most of them make it a big deal. Madonna puts out her fancy Sex book, or actresses take it off for a Playboy payday, or they do a nude scene in a movie and have to answer a million questions about whether they were comfortable and how tasteful and necessary to the plot it was, etc. And then we all say “Wow, look how comfortable she is with her body, what a liberated progressive thinker.” What bullshit! That’s exactly the opposite of what’s going on. By making a big fucking deal about nudity, by justifying it with money or art, they’re showing they aren’t comfortable with nudity for nudity’s sake.
Here’s a girl who’s comfortable: Chelsea Handler goes on a boat ride in Chile, whips her breasts out and takes a picture with the driver, and posts it to Twitter her damn self. She doesn’t get Herb Ritts or Steven Meisel or Terry Richardson to shoot it, she doesn’t secure a book deal, she doesn’t recruit Big Daddy Kane and Vanilla Ice (see Madonna’s book), she doesn’t think it’s going to win her an award at Cannes. It’s a DIY tit pic like any no-name cam girl does it, like it ain’t no big thing. That’s called being comfortable.
I never imagined I’d ever say this on this site, but dammit: Chelsea Handler is a hero.
Cropped for your convenience:
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